My Freshman year of college was tough, to say the least. I went to a school far from any family or relatives, thinking — naively — that it would be like a coming of age movie; all dreamy and picturesque.

Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

I had a really hard time coming to terms with things like making new friends and seasonal depression. For most of my life, I had let my feelings control me. But now that I was in a new, strange place, with no support system, and was feeling awful all the time, I couldn’t let those feelings lead anymore. I wish I could say that I trusted God with these problems and that everything was fine. But I didn’t.

I doubted Him and His love for me. I got angry at Him, mistaking my bad feelings for the lack of His presence. But throughout all my doubt, all my fear, He carried me.

He listened as I whined and shouted at Him, and He held me as I cried.

I can’t explain it, but even when I didn’t feel Him, even when I couldn’t hear His voice, I knew He was there.

I’ve learned from experience.

When God says He won’t leave you; you can trust Him.