The Struggle is Real

by David Haase

Happy is he who has the God of Jacob for his help, whose hope is in the LORD, his God.

Psalm 146:5

In Genesis 32:24-30, Jacob wrestles with God.

He perseveres and God gives him a blessing that changes his life.

I know how he feels.

My first wife and I were having marriage difficulties. Her family -- grandparents, parents, brother, aunts and uncles, and many cousins -- all went to the same church we did. Everyone knew our troubles.

We went to the pastor for counseling, to no avail. The pastor met with me privately and asked me to leave the church because so many of my in-laws went there.

After our divorce, I equated the church with God and became very bitter and angry. I felt unwanted.

I turned my back on God, but God never turned His back on me. For the next twenty years, I fought an internal battle with Him, wondering “Why did You let this happen?”

I kept my struggles with God bottled up inside. But He heard my cry. He led me to my second wife, a wonderful, Godly woman who took her time to understand my pain. She invited me to a warm, loving church, who loved us into their congregation. Today, we have been married for nearly forty years. Praise be to God, our help and our hope!


Dear God, Thank You for loving me in spite of myself. Help me as I struggle with the problems in my life. Please continue leading me, even when I can’t see the path. In Jesus’ precious name I pray, Amen.


What things in my life might change for the better if I stopped running away from God?